‘I wanna say thank you for all that you've carried me through'
Part 1: The Fruit of the Spirit: Joy
Sometimes (okay most times), I get so focused on myself and my circumstances that I develop tunnel vision. I start seeing things that aren’t really there, distorting my perspective and interpreting my situation in ways that may not even be true. I read a quote the other day that said, “We try to force ourselves into ecstasies in order to hear the voice, then we imagine we hear it!” That hit me. In my desperation for clarity, I push myself into a heightened state, hoping to see my situation clearly, to hear a way out—only to convince myself that I have. I create the illusion of certainty when, in reality, I have none.
What am I talking about? Oh, just the uncertainty of life.
I watched a hilarious YouTube short about what it looks like when we give our plans to God, and while it made me laugh, it also hit uncomfortably close to home. My husband and I have one BIG goal this year, to buy a house! We’ve planned, strategized, and even celebrated the milestones we’ve hit along the way. And then, suddenly everything fell apart. He received disappointing news that immediately stopped our plans in their tracks, and we were crushed.
Side note 👉🏼 Here’s something I’m learning about marriage: when one partner is down, the other steps up. Encouragement isn’t just a responsibility; it’s a joy. Typically, my husband is the one lifting me up, reminding me everything will be okay. But this time, it was my turn. And I surprised myself with how much faith and confidence I had. There was no wavering. At the start of the year, we agreed to sit in our sadness only for a day, then wake up the next morning with renewed joy and move forward. And we did. We created a new plan and were back at it, this time with Plans A, B, and C. We were ready!
And then literally the next day, I got bad news. Like bro!
We’re still in the thick of it, but we’ve gained something invaluable: a deeper understanding of what happens when we magnify our plans over God. We’re learning to hold our plans loosely and make room for Him to move. Because trust me, we’ve tried everything, and nothing has panned out. We’ve exhausted ourselves talking in circles, looking for solutions. Our goal hasn’t changed, but our approach has. We’re choosing to let God lead.
It’s ironic because this month, we’re focusing on the fruit of joy—not fleeting happiness tied to circumstances, but deep, lasting joy rooted in God. We felt joy when we were hitting our milestones, celebrating our progress. But when everything fell apart, that joy suddenly felt impossible. And that’s when we realized: our joy had been tied to our plans, not to God.
What a way to learn that lesson, right?
It’s easy to be joyful when everything is going as planned. But when the plan is thrown out the window, then what? Is your joy attached to your circumstances or to God? We quickly learned where ours had been anchored. And in His mercy, God stripped our plans away—not to punish us, but to reveal the foundation of our joy.
I won’t sugarcoat it. Having joy and faith when everything is uncertain is hard. Trusting God when nothing is working out is hard. My sister recently said, “Faith often feels so irresponsible.” And I couldn’t agree more. It does. Every day, I feel like I should be doing more—making new plans, hustling to make things happen. But instead, I’m sitting in faith. Trusting. Finding joy in the everyday moments. Finding joy in the mundane. Finding joy in His daily provision. It’s simple, but it’s not easy. Yet His grace is sufficient.
At our First Friday Sabbath dinner this month, I was reminded of Psalm 77. The Psalmist, Asaph asked the same questions I’ve been asking:
"Has the Lord rejected me forever?
Will he never again be kind to me?
Is his unfailing love gone forever?
Have his promises permanently failed?
Has God forgotten to be gracious?
Has he slammed the door on his compassion?"
And then he said:
"This is my fate; the Most High has turned his hand against me.”
I felt that. I’ve convinced myself that because things weren’t going my way, God must not care. That He’s closed the door on my dreams and tossed them aside.
But after my day of sadness, doubt, and frustration, I knew I had a choice. I could stay in a place of despair, or I could wake up, choose joy and remember His goodness.
I keep a folder on my phone called Holy Retrospective which is a collection of moments when I felt hopeless, when my plans failed, but God brought me to something even better. And the Psalmist did the same thing:
"But then I recall all you have done, O Lord;
I remember your wonderful deeds of long ago.
They are constantly in my thoughts.
I cannot stop thinking about your mighty works."
So I’ve committed to rejoice again and find my joy in Him.
On the first Friday of each month, I’m unplugging completely—fasting, sitting in silence, seeking God, and focusing on Fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). If you don’t know, the Fruit of the Spirit are:
Love
Joy
Peace
Patience
Kindness
Goodness
Faithfullness
Gentleness
Self-control
In Preparation
The Spirit—Fasting, praying, studying, and finding joy!
I’ve increased my fasting practice, now fasting every Friday instead of just once a month, and it has been such a game changer! During my last fast, I spent time reading through old journal entries and noticed a pattern: complaining about the season I was in (honestly, it’s frustrating and embarrassing how often I do this). Then, I came across an entry from years ago, written on the same date as a photo in my phone. In the picture, I was at the park at noon with my daughter, simply enjoying our time together. But in my journal, I was too caught up in wanting to push through that season to appreciate it. Looking back now, I’d give anything to have that time again. She was so little then! I didn’t see the joy in that moment. I didn’t recognize how God was sustaining me, slowing me down to cherish time with my daughter.
The Practice—Complaining less and enjoying the moment.
I’ve made a promise to complain less (or at least, not as much) when I find myself in a season of uncertainty. Instead, I’m committed to seeking the joy, the blessing, and the lesson in every season. I’m slowing down to recognize what God is showing me, to truly see the moment I’m in.
The Room—The space, the table setting, the light.
Did you know that yellow often symbolizes joy? It’s a warm, uplifting color associated with optimism, light, and positivity. Check out my inspo on Pinterest! I had so much fun creating this board and using it to set the tone for the day. Yellow is truly a beautiful color!
The Meal—Food and drinks and dessert!
This month, it was my husband's turn to host Sabbath dinner. With lemon as the fruit of the earth and yellow as the color, he made a bold choice—Taco Bell. And honestly, no complaints here as I haven’t had it in ages! Of course, I set the table and made a zero-proof margarita that turned out so good (shoutout to Ritual)! For the wine, I decided to try Joyus (for obvious reasons) and it was so good, much better than the one we tried last month.
The Study—Psalm 77 and Nehemiah 8:10.
We read aloud Psalm 77 and Nehemiah 8:10 (or as best we could before baby girl decided to chime in) and prayed for our joy to be strengthened. It was a beautiful night and I’m so grateful for these moments with my little family.
This entire month has felt like a whirlwind of uncertainty, pushing us to find joy in the midst of it. I can only imagine what’s in store when it’s time to focus on patience! 👀
LOVE 💛
🙏🏾🍋🙏🏾🍋🙏🏾